Coming home has made something very clear to both of us:  We are really struggling.  I can't speak for him as to the intensity of his struggle but I can say that I am really, really struggling.  But, I know he is too - because he told me and because he looks so sad and because after we kissed goodnight last night, I saw him staring at the ceiling for a long time before his eyes finally closed.  As much as I hate struggling.....I hate watching him struggle even more.