Each day I wake up horrified (no longer shocked, but still horrified) and then I spend all day long waiting for the day to end.  So, here I am at the end of the day and I am horrified that this terrible day is not ending.  Today was a very hard day for me.  I felt tortured all day long.  I was anxious all day long.  I am scared that something is going to happen to me or someone I love.  Once you recognize how vulnerable you really are, you sort of wonder how you even made it this far.  Now, I have been lying in bed and tossing and turning for about 2 hours and I am wide awake, horrified.